by Kristina Francis
It has been 18 years since I lost my older brother Keith to suicide. He was only 25 years old. The impact of his death to me as his only sibling, our parents, family, and friends has been tragic. I am on a roller coaster of emotions that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t wish this on another soul.
Keith and I were really close before he died. I can’t say that when we were younger (almost 5 years apart in age), but as we got older we got along! There were no signs he was depressed or anything out of the ordinary. After he died, there are so many questions that won’t be answered. I relived the week he passed over and over. After 18 years, I still do.
My anxiety has significantly increased since his passing. I am not ashamed to go to therapy and take medication to help with the anxiety and grief. I’m not sure how I would cope without therapy and support. I’m open about Keith’s story and death because I don’t want him to be forgotten. I don’t want anyone to experience this tragic and sudden loss of a loved one. Keith was a great person. He made a permanent solution to a temporary problem. He was not being selfish or a coward in his act, I could only imagine the pain he was feeling. I wish he knew how loved he was and he had support. Depression and anxiety are liars. But through all this, I’ve come out stronger and not willing to sweat the small stuff. Life is too short. I will make him proud and continue to make it my mission to speak up on mental health and suicide prevention.
We need to end the stigma of mental health. Don’t keep your emotions in, it will tear you apart. Please take care of yourself.
*The signs of suicide are sometimes difficult to recognize, but trainings like QPR can help. To learn more about QPR please click here
